It comes from the north during winter
Weighs heavy on my mind
Deafening sounds of silence and of solitude
A test of wills, against the grind
.
Turn inside out, to let outside in
Thickening skin on both sides
On my own, seeking daylight
Just me on the line
The fog of my days searching for light
The darkness of my nights seep through cracks into my days
Overlapping suggestions and impressions coexist
The “can’t seem to remembers”
Mix with “unable to forgets”
Remembering a thousand different ways
Never scratching the surface
Quiet of night
Sometimes scream out to me
Hands covering my ears
Voices penetrating through the cracks of my fingers
I see your face
But am unable to call out to you
Maybe it’s for the best
You wont want to hear what I have to say
One day I’ll have the courage to tell you
Tell you everything
Until then
I’ll just watch you walk away in silence
Originally posted June 13, 2015
Midnights in slow motion
The deafening sound of a moment turning a page
I wonder how I am able to stand so still
Yet in a split second
A blink of an eye
Yesterdays begin to pile up behind me
Unable to reach back
They fade
And I wonder if they’ve become wasted moments in time
*Originally posted June 12, 2015
Breathless
Unable to see through the haze
Swimming in the layers of my memories
Images pass by
One by one my head turns
Watching my life in rewind
.
Originally posted June 23, 2015
It’s after midnight
Pamplona greets us with open arms
Streets typically empty and silent
Not tonight
Celebration’s prelude of tomorrow’s chase
Sangria overflowing
I’m floating inside my glass
Swimming not drowning
But drowning in this glass may not be such an unpleasant thought
At least, just for tonight
Handshakes, hugs, more filled glasses
A feeling this will never end
Smiles from street to street
Greet to greet
I wonder if the bulls also have smiles on their faces right now
Dawn will awake
Sometime soon or off in the distance
I can’t tell
But at that time
I will see if my courage is there
To run through the streets
The chase of a lifetime
Or if not
Watch from the sidelines
With regret nipping at my heels
Originally posted August 1, 2015
Blades of grass follow the morning sun
It floats as if tethered by a balloon string, held back from flying away
Silhouettes pass against the fiery yellow and orange, one by one
And out of the corner of my eye, I catch my shadow reach out, yearning
But like the morning sun, he is tethered and remains
Like blades of grass, with eyes that can only follow
Left only to dream of what might have been
Originally posted October 19, 2015
Black and white photographs
Unfinished journals frayed at the edges
The scratching sounds of a vinyl record playing
The sweetness of her voice losing me to my past
Eyes closed
Open heart
A numbness takes over
And I forget how to remember
Or maybe remembering makes me want to forget
But it’s a part of me
Always with me
In the front of my mind
On the tip of my tongue
Or in hibernation
Waiting for the next time to wake.
Originally posted June 13, 2015
Whiskey from coffee mugs
A haze masked with a smile
Voices settle in the backseat, sleeping
No longer whispering in my ear, at least for tonight
A slow sip
A quick swallow
The warmth of yesterday’s footsteps trickle down my throat
As I watch sheer window curtains blow with the cool wind, silently
Sun rays try to seep in, sunrise or sunset, not quite sure which
My lids lower under the weight of a thousand pounds
And I join them in slumber, at peace for now
Originally posted September 26, 2015
Tilted worlds that come to an end
Blindsided by whiskey pauses
Olive colored lies
Keeper of forgotten words
A winter’s tale of birds flown south
Snow angels huddled by the fire
Looking back to catch the sunset
Found memories painted with coffee stains
Night falls on unfortunate footsteps
Where all lights tend to go home
.
Originally posted July 7, 2015
toshtamurapoetry.wordpress.com 