That Voice in My Head

The voice in my head

Sounds familiar tones, luring words

An encouragement to drift to times long gone

Another chance to grasp

A found opportunity to connect

To the ink of my past that colors my soul

Permanent, yet invisible

Except when I hear that voice in my head

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The Essence of Your Voice

I teeter as I walk the line

The wind of your voice unstables each step

I stumble, barely catching myself before the fall

And I begin to realize the gap between our last glance widens with each breath

Still, the essence of your voice lingers, never to be erased

Sundance

Sundance under the moonlight’s watchful eye

While bonfires blaze, painting shadows across forgotten years

The harmony of tears and laughter intertwine with the cool breeze

And surround my wanting ears, luring me to listen and remember

Window Panes

Memories taped to window panes

Sunlight streams and escapes around the edges

Shadows cast on dusty wooden floors

The silence of sunlight’s arc follows me

And I’m waiting for something to emerge

I’m just not sure what it is

Summit Conversations

Every step I hear his voice

Switchbacks, zigzagging from one memory to the next

Back and forth between present and past

My father walks beside me, still

Together we summit

Looking down at cloud tops

Leaving behind hellos, goodbyes

Placing them gently for safekeeping

Until next time, next time

Slow grateful descents, alone

Other summits in our future

A handshake, a hug

Waiting for another time to continue our conversation

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Originally posted September 1, 2015

Moments of Escape

The sound of whitewash slowly reaching the sand

Seagulls gracefully gliding overhead

Trees rustling, leaves singing a beautiful melody

Tall grass bending with the sound of the wind

Quiet buildings’ stoic shadows

Strewn from streetlights in the midnight hour

The beautiful echoes of silence

Sitting in a pew of an empty church

Bending down, closing my eyes

Smelling grapes in the middle of a vineyard

These memories of quiet moments

Such a beautiful escape

As I manage through my busy days

*Originally posted June 12, 2015

Remembering

Black and white photographs

Unfinished journals frayed at the edges

The scratching sounds of a vinyl record playing

The sweetness of her voice losing me to my past

Eyes closed

Open heart

A numbness takes over

And I forget how to remember

Or maybe remembering makes me want to forget

But it’s a part of me

Always with me

In the front of my mind

On the tip of my tongue

Or in hibernation

Waiting for the next time to wake.

Originally posted June 13, 2015

My First Book – The Sabbatical Months

After encouragement to share my story, I’ve published my first book, The Sabbatical Months.  Without writing experience, my path began from experimental writing, to the creation of this blog and now to print.  This is a travel through poetry of my six month journey healing from darkness.   The preface of the book is included below.

I was not a writer, nor a poet. I was just a guy who was living life the best I could and suddenly found himself surrounded by darkness.  After years of suppressing the stress of life and career, I took the unusual step of hitting pause and stepped off the path to stop, reflect and heal.  Although that was my intention, I had no idea how to get there.

I don’t know why I picked up a pen to write. The only poetry that I had written was decades ago for a high school assignment.  It was an uncomfortable feeling to expose myself on paper, especially since I am not one to share what is inside.  But the words came and I tried capturing them as best as I could. Most of the poems were written in the moment, without multiple drafts to perfect the message or grammar.  Many of the poems have overlapping phrases, images or sentiments.  I only noticed this after the sabbatical when re-reading my writing in aggregate.  Although tempted to exclude some of the poems that felt a bit repetitious, I later decided against it because these words reflect the true outpouring of the moment.  These phrases or themes are the result of a part of me that needed time to birth, grow, age and eventually move on.  Others still remain with me either waiting their turn to depart or continuing to make themselves at home within me.  Everything has their own time.  Such is life.

The following is raw and unrefined.  It reflects six months of healing where I faced my own darkness, accepted who I am, revisited memories of my past and eventually was able to move forward.  My life is still a work in progress.  The only difference now is understanding how to coexist with the darkness.  Sometimes I may win, other times not.  However, the journey from these sabbatical months provided me the strength to continue on.  The following pages reflect this journey.  This is me.

Any comments or support is appreciated.  Please click on the link below to view my book on Amazon.

Amazon: The Sabbatical Months